I only know how to go too far

April 15, 2013

My TurboTax 2012
As certain as Death herself
And as inconvenient as the birth of a child
Which explains why I naturally do so many things to delay it. (Doesn’t it?)
To procrastinate it. (Is that even grammatically correct?)
But I’ve never ever gone beyond the deadline
And do you know why…

Because today we get to ponder the really important questions in life
TurboTax versus TaxCut
Itemized or Standard
Is deduction an act of deducing or deducting or both?
Do I have to pay AMT for State and/or Federal?
There are just so many philosophical gold mines that we can’t ignore any longer
To file for extension would be… unhealthy
Like quitting smoking or… unsportsmanlike
Like punting on 3rd down which I have witnessed by the way. Totally bizzare!

On April 15, we get to take introspection to a whole new level
What you do on this day says a lot about yourself
Whether you’re a planner or a procrastinator
Always looking for a loophole, always trying to game the system
Or cursing yourself for missing your FSA reimbursements
Year after year
Well that is a whole different blog post I’m telling ya
Filing that one right under “Helpful Social Programs”

In any case, I love this country
As do so many Americans
Singularly the reason why we wait until the last day to write our checks
Just a polite way of saying I disagree with your policies
Whatever they might be
I call it Freedom. Democracy. Free will
And most importantly, Murica!
See you again next year


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