I only know how to go too far

Posts tagged “Love

一 (A song by 江海迦)

OneByAgathaKongOnce in a while a music video so goofy and so cute that it makes you not only watch it until the very end but also over and over again.  Of course it helps when the song by Agatha Kong is really actually that good.  But the real genius behind the music video is its authenticity.  I mean who hasn’t lingered around cafes, libraries, shops, bus stops, etc. just to spend a little time with a certain somebody.  While the shy demeanor of the boy in the video may appear weak at first, it is in fact a quiet statement of consistent devotion.  So very classic Asian albeit in the backdrop of a modern Italian coffee shop in Hong Kong.  🙂

Hope you will enjoy the music video as much as I have.


無人之境 (A Song by Eason Chan)


作曲:Eric Kwok

讓理智在叫著冷靜冷靜 還恃住年少氣盛
讓我對著衝動背著宿命 渾忘自己的姓
沉睡的兇猛在甦醒 完全為你現形
這個世界最壞罪名 叫太易動情 但我喜歡這罪名

不敢有風 不敢有聲 這愛情無人証
好想說謊 不眨眼睛 這愛情無人性

若世界陷進大騙局裡面 朋友亦難以發現
共你隔著空在秘密通電 挑戰道德底線
如若早三五年相見 何來內心交戰
我信與你繼續亂纏 難再有發展 但我想跟你亂纏


即使間整個約會情調幽暗似地下城 還是算溫馨
多麼想跟你散步橋上把臂看著風景 但是我清醒
你我像快快樂樂同遊在異境 浪漫到一起惹絕症

不想說明 只想反應

Here is the version from Eason’s DUO concert back in 2010. Eason is always better live!

Dark Days Ahead

Aight, if you haven’t watched the video above, then you are in for a HUGE surprise! I found out about this video from my former coworkers and friends over dinner a few weeks ago. To warn ya, I couldn’t even finish half of it the first time I watched it. So you might wanna sit down and grab onto something solid before viewing it. Go ahead and watch it before reading on. God bless and good luck!

[Spoiler Alert!!]

So finally I did manage to watch enough of this video, my raw reaction was an unsettling mix of disbelief, anger, shame, and a nervous creepy kind of LOL. At first (like many of the onlookers) I was like “what the hell is going on?” Then I was like “this dude better man up RIGHT NOW!!” Next I was angry at the girl thinking “yo sister you’re not even pretty! Not at all! So WTF girl!?” (Some lady actually said that out loud in the video!) At last I broke down laughing uneasily. Finally I went to bed all worked up. All I could think of was…

Dark days ahead for Hong Kong men

The next day I shared the video with who else but all my Hong Kong guy friends. Their general conclusions were…

  • This video is fake (I assure you that it’s not fake. Check out this Wikipedia page)
  • Stay away from Hong Kong women (I assure you that this is good advice in general)
  • Dark days ahead for all men (I assure you that this is how all guys felt right after)

So by this time I was like…

Dark days ahead for all men

Pretty serious business, right!? But then I was reading more about this incident which amazingly happened a few months ago without any of my knowledge! Turns out there were tons of backlash and public outcry against the slapper chick. She was even arrested by the police but the dude wouldn’t press charges so she was let go quickly. Score one for True Love! So apparently and quite justifiably, we’re now at the familiar stage…

Dark days ahead for Hong Kong women

No wonder all Hong Kong men prefer to find girlfriends outside of Hong Kong! But you know. After more thinking, this is nothing but a tragic case of abusive relationships caught on video. Most abusive behaviors occur behind closed doors so you don’t get to see them. And most instances of relationship violence are committed by men who are physically stronger then women. These two factors make this particular crime all the more unbelievable and extraordinary. But let’s not lose sight of the fact that in this video the slapper chick is the mentally stronger person here. And mental strength counts! All the classic abusive relationships require a mentally and emotionally stronger abuser AND a mentally and emotionally weaker victim. That’s why abuse victims don’t just walk out of their abusive relationships because they feel mentally and emotionally trapped. In this video, we don’t immediately think of the dude as the abuse victim because he’s a dude and that’s counter-intuitive. But abusive relationships are so much more than just physical dominance. Domestic violence is ugly and you can stare at it right in the face in this video. This is dark and serious shit, yo! Abusive relationships are bad for all victims: men and women.

Dark days ahead for all

Well, I’m not done yet. Now after all that, this video can hopefully be used to highlight the ugliness and destructive powers of abusive relationships. Thanks to technology, we can now share these videos virally and provided that we associate the right kind of commentary and awareness with them, we can begin to educate and teach everyone how to spot these crimes and help the helpless. So…

Dark days ahead for all abusers

Guys, you are now free to date Hong Kong chicks.
But still I don’t recommend it!!

Smile A Little

Sometimes when you feel like everything is going against you and nobody seems to agree with you even on the most obvious stuff, it is important to take a step back and focus on the bigger picture. Take your eyes off of the tree and open yourself to the whole forest as the proverbial saying goes. Why try to solve the problem with the same mindset that created it in the first place as Einstein would have told you personally? Breathe, relax, stop banging your head against the wall and do something different. Go somewhere else! Jump to a different energy scale! A different parallel Universe! Smile!

This video cover of one of my favorite Chinese songs Yin Wei Ai Qing does exactly that for me. It reminds me of more basic and more fundamental things. It is okay. Smile. Everything is gonna be just fine. Because everything already is.

The original videos of Yin Wie Ai Qing (因为爱情), performed by Faye Wong (王菲) and Eason Chan (陈奕迅), can be found on YouTube below.

Enjoy those too!

Legions (A Song by Zoe Keating); Frienemy (A Poem)

Back and forth, back and forth
And back and forth
Back and forth, back and forth
And back and forth

Arguments fly, words spoken
The theater is set
Intentions lie, promises broken
The theater is set

Walk with me
Don’t walk with me
Happy to talk
Please don’t bother me


The Saddest Song in the World (A Song by Meiko)

I wake up and you’re gone
The TV’s still on
And I sit and I watch another rerun
She is left all alone
Her lover’s out to sea
And I can’t help but feel that she is just like me

And I gave all I could but it wasn’t good enough
And you said that you would be here before I woke up
Now you’re gone

I don’t know why my heart still beats
And I can’t feel anything

Cuz I gave all I could but it wasn’t good enough
And you said that you would be here before I woke up
Now you’re gone away
Now you’re gone away

Why don’t you take me with you?
Come and take me with you
Come and take me with you
Come and take me with you

Cuz I gave all I could but it wasn’t good enough
And you said that you would be here before I woke up
Now you’re gone

Shape of My Heart (Magic by Shawn Farquhar; a Song by Sting)

He deals the cards as a meditation
And those He plays never suspect
He doesn’t play for the money He wins
He don’t play for respect
He deals the cards to find the answer
The sacred geometry of chance
The hidden law of a probable outcome
The numbers lead a dance

I know that the spades are the swords of a soldier
I know that the clubs are weapons of war
I know that diamonds mean money for this art
But that’s not the shape of my heart

He may play the jack of diamonds
He may lay the queen of spades
He may conceal a king in his hand
While the memory of it fades

I know that the spades are the swords of a soldier
I know that the clubs are weapons of war
I know that diamonds mean money for this art
But that’s not the shape of my heart
That’s not the shape, the shape of the heart

And if I told you that I loved you
You’d maybe think there’s something wrong
I’m not a man of too many faces
The mask I wear is one
Those who speak know nothing
And find out to their cost
Like those who curse their luck in too many places
And those who fear are lost

I know that the spades are the swords of a soldier
I know that the clubs are weapons of war
I know that diamonds mean money for this art
But that’s not the shape of my heart
That’s not the shape of my heart
That’s not the shape, the shape of my heart

Love of My Life (A Song by Queen)

Thank you.

July Rhapsody (A Song)

From the movie July Rhapsody (男人四十) comes one of my favorite Chinese songs.  Enjoy.

作曲: 彭妮
填詞: 潘源良

繁忙的工作 加一把勁來過渡
無聊的交際 祇管把笑容製造
回家 打開一副電腦
模擬找到 模擬傾訴 模擬很好
從來不知道 怎麼竟各行各路
從前的一套 今天仔細仍照做
夜深 粉紫色這外套
模擬起舞 模擬擁抱 模擬得到

仍然明知許多女伴 一轉身會遇到
為何感到 這不算最好
明明從新掌握去做 我總可以做到
為何今晚我不懂如何 告別煩惱

浮華掌聲裡 祇想一個人讚慕
從難關出發 心境可向誰透露
是否 悲歡早有定數
何時得到 何時失去 誰能猜到

Cold War (A Poem)

Are you listening to me!?

Are you happy or are you sad?
Are you tired or are you mad?
Why didn’t you sleep well?
I couldn’t tell

Where were you this morning?
We’re constantly out of sync
You have stopped moving
I don’t know what to think

Did you like my gifts?
My pictures, my letters?
Silence is golden
But words feel better

I took this photo in Qi Bao, Shanghai. I’m not sure if the couple were actually having a fight but that’s the interpretation I’m going to stick with and hence this poem.

Learn and Keep on Living!

詩雅, 請再好好過日子!

I saw a random news report on a TV monitor in a bus during my vacation in Shanghai, China last couple of weeks.  I mean there are LCD screens everywhere in Shanghai these days.  Malls, restaurants, buses, taxis, elevators, even bathrooms!  Anyway I saw this really cute girl crying at a press conference on TV looking really really sad.  I had no idea who she was or where she came from or what she had done.  Anyways, that sad face stuck in my mind so I googled after I came back from my vakay and found her music videos on YouTube!  Here’s my favorite and here’s another good one.  (Remember there’s no Google, Youtube, WordPress, Facebook, and my dear new employer Twitter behind the Great Firewall!!  Argh!!)

Turns out she’s a young singer from Hong Kong namd Shiga Lin (連詩雅).  And what happened was somebody had leaked a few embarrassing photos she took with one of her ex-boyfriends when she was sixteen and madly in love.  In other words, she didn’t do anything wrong.  I mean who doesn’t have embarrassing photos!?!?  (Attention all my ex’es: don’t worry.  Yours are safe!!)  Now that she’s done her sentence but apparently committed no crime.  I’m gonna give her a plug on my ultra popular blog and my vast social network!  Here’s a list of her videos on YouTube and Youku.

Shiga, you now have a new fan in me!  You go girl!  Be true!  Be strong!  Be alright!

Free Will is Really Free!

Actual recent IM chat

(01:46:49 AM) bryce: i gotta write up a blog post
(01:47:24 AM) Joyce: about what?
(01:47:31 AM) bryce: free will
(01:47:46 AM) Joyce: what made you decide to write about that?
(01:47:58 AM) bryce: well, obviously!!!
(01:48:16 AM) Joyce: lol

If you had listened to the Radiolab broadcast called No Special Now (or related ones like Choice or Is Free Will Really Free?), you would have learned that free will often times seems like an illusion.  In other words, your brain is merely fooling you into thinking that you had made a decision to call Sarah while in fact that decision has already been made for you even before her beautiful face entered your conscious thought.  This idea was pioneered by Harvard professor of psychology Daniel Wegner.  So in other words, you’re not really in control even though your brain tells you that you are.  I disagree.

Well, here’s why.  Just because it’s NOT your brain that came up with the idea to tell you to call the princess of your dreams doesn’t mean it’s not free will.  Guys know what I’m talking about.  Obviously it’s your little bro telling your brain to tell you to call Sarah!  But that’s still your little bro, bro!  It’s still you!  That little bro ain’t somebody else’s little bro.  Or the devil’s, right?  Hello!  You wit’ me!?  Who says free will has to live inside your brain, bro!?  It don’t!  Free will lives inside of you!  And any body part in you should be able to step up and tell you what to do!!  That’s still free will, my friends!  Free your mind, bro!

Just to make sure you understand what I’m talking about.  Your little bro is your heart.

Listen to your heart!


Leave the Lights On (A Song by Meiko)

We’re in the dark. It’s getting late
I really should go. He’s waiting for me
We both know it’s not what it seems
We both know what’s between the sheets

 I know that it’s a secret and that I gotta keep it
 But I want the lights on. Yeah I want the lights on
 And I don’t wanna run away anymore
 Leave the lights on. Leave the lights on. Leave the lights on

What would they say? What would they do?
Would it be trouble if they knew?
I’m trying hard to make you see
All that you are is all that I need

Let it out. Let it out. Let it out
Let it out. Let it out. Let it out

** Here is the equally beautiful acoustic version. Simply wonderful.

The Three of Us (A Poem by Starlee Kine)

  • This poem below is from my favorite favorite This American Life story. You can listen to my favorite story here for free. I hope you will enjoy it as much as I did.  Here is the link to the song itself.
  • The photo below is used without permission from its owner Noah Webb. You can check out his website full of great photographs and inspiration here.

I loved you and you loved her
So I sort of loved her cause I love everything you love
And then she stopped, stopped loving you
And glory hallelujah! Somehow you start loving me
I don’t know why I love you
I just do. I really do
And it doesn’t do me any good. In fact it does me bad
Cause you’re oh so gone and I’m oh so sad

I love you and you love me
And you sort of told me that you love me more than her
And then you stopped, stopped loving me
And lord, won’t you take me? You picked right up loving her
I don’t know why I love you
I just do. I really do
And it doesn’t do me any good. In fact it does me bad
Cause you’re oh so gone and I’m oh so sad

Pronoun trouble again
Instead of him and I is her and him
I need a way back in
If we share, it could be her and him and me!

Now it’s just the three of us
The names may have changed but the sorry facts remain the same
She loves you and I love you
I’m okay with second best. Just love her more and love me less
I don’t know why I love you
I just do. I really do
And it doesn’t do me any good. In fact it does me bad
Cause you’re oh. so. gone. And I’m oh. so. sad
Cause you’re oh. so. gone. And I’m oh. so. sad

Teleportation Equals Death to True Love

Transporter Star Trek

Beam me up!

Here is a true conundrum to all of us nerds who are also capable of romantic endeavors aka matters of the heart not just of the mind (or brain if you are so neurologically inclined). Imagine the not-too-distant future where teleportation is just another commonplace green technology to rid us of our dependence on fossil fuel, much like the electric car. Yay! Beam me up, Scotty! Or Geordi if you belong to my generation. But in any case, don’t you realize that if teleportation were indeed possible, that would imply that we could clone people!? I’m talking about the technological prowess to break down and transport all necessary information right down to the atomic/molecular level and re-ensemble all of it to teleport me from Chinatown in San Francisco to Koreatown in Los Angeles. Yay! Beam me up now!

You see? If we can do that, what’s to prevent us from sending the same information to Seoul, Korea at the same time? Man, I could be paying a visit to two different room bangs in two different cities simultaneously! The physics of cloning is now clear! Cool!

Not so cool! Because that would really mess things up. Biologically, that means I would live forever because I could just keep replicating my transported self over and over again. However, this conundrum is not relevant at this time. A later blog post perhaps? What’s really upsetting to us romantic nerds is that cloning is a direct assault to the holy concept of “The One” aka “True Love”. By definition, “True Love” is one-and-only (c.f. how to find true love) so how can we have two of me if I’m your “The One”. Right, girl? Baby, I can explain… Please don’t run away… Hey, where you going!?

See the conundrum!? But wait! Maybe we can’t really transport anything perfectly because there is that problem of quantum coherence (look it up!) Maybe it’s not really the same old me that shows up in K-town!? I swear I feel like a different person in K-town but that’s a different story. Anyway, if the teleported me isn’t me, that would mean that we’re not technically teleporting! So what do I give up: scientific fantasy or romantic fantasy?

Discuss! 🙂

P.S. I Love You (A Poem)

P.S. I Love You

Do you remember this '維他汽水' commercial from 1983?

Please don’t push me
I’d like to be left alone
I’m not here to make friends
I just want to go home
I might smile or laugh a lot
But that doesn’t mean I’m friendly
To You
To me you seem too nice
I have no choice but to cut you off cold
The more gifts you give
The more distance I’ll keep
Don’t think I’m bad or anything
I live by God’s good word
So please don’t tell me your name because I’ll forget everything

Me Neither (A Poem)

Hey girl, when I saw you for the very first time
I thought immediately we had a connection
So rare, you know
Say… do you believe in love at first sight?
Well, me neither
Thank God we’re alike in that regard
But something is surely devine, right?
Kind of like a… you know destiny
Yeah, that’s it. Destiny
Because like some people believe in true love
Oh. Good. ‘Cause me neither
So glad we’re on the same page on that one too
Soul mate!? Pfff! Fairy tales for kids for sure
Yeah… for real
You know, girl, I’m so glad that you’re so easy to talk to
It’s kind of like comfortable you know
Chemistry is such a amazing thing. You feel the flow?
So true. Me neither
Because I respect that
Everybody needs space
Especially for a cool girl like you
Of course you don’t want to be called “girl”
No, that’s just so awesome because
Me neither

Let There be Light (A Poem)

Went to the funeral before it was born
Saw the bitter ending its painful thorns
I have been here before. So I know the rules
But I’m falling apart all around you
Rules lose their power whether you’re far or near
Knowing it won’t last, my deepest fear
One moment together can send me up to heavens so high
In a blink of an eye, you said goodbye
Hello darkness, can you hear me?
I’m back again. Did you miss me?

Empty (A Poem by Dolores O’Riordan)

EmptySomething has left my life
And I don’t know where it went to
Somebody caused me strife
And it’s not what I was seeking

Didn’t you see me? Didn’t you hear me?
Didn’t you see me standing there?
Why did you turn out the lights?
Did you know that I was sleeping?

Say a prayer for me
Help me to feel the strength I did
My identity has it been taken?
Is my heart breakin’ on me?

All my plans fell through my hands
They fell through my hands on me
All my dreams it suddenly seems
It suddenly seems

Fragments (A Poem)

Life is a collection of moments
Some moments get replayed and relished over and over again
Some moments are forgotten as soon as they happen
Some may be locked away because they are too precious
One dares not disturb them except perhaps in the direst of times
And even then one cannot recall them with whimsicality or irreverence
For that is an invitation of destruction
Then there are moments of pain and deep sorrow
These moments are in their own locked boxes waiting…
For what I do not know because they have their own minds and speak only when they want to
I do think about all kinds of moments from time to time
People are lost and places change
But these fragments of life stay on

My Ode to Love in C++

#include <life>
using namespace myUniverse;

class love {
  int intensity;
  int  fall_in (int i);
  int  fall_out(int i);
  virtual bool isTrue    () = 0;
  virtual void firstSight() = 0;
  virtual void freeAgain () = 0;

int love::fall_in(int i)
  instensity += i;

int love::fall_out(int i)
  instensity -= i;

  intensity = 0;


One Year of Love

Words and music by John Deacon

Just one year of love
Is better than a lifetime alone
One sentimental moment in your arms
Is like a shooting star right through my heart
It’s always a rainy day without you
I’m a prisoner of love inside you
I’m falling apart all around you… yeah
My heart cries out to your heart
I’m lonely but you can save me
My hand reaches out for your hand
I’m cold but you light the fire in me
My lips search for your lips
I’m hungry for your touch
There’s so much left unspoken
And all I can do is surrender
To the moment just surrender

And no one ever told me that love would hurt so much
And pain is so close to pleasure
And all I can do is surrender to your love
Just one year of love
Is better than a lifetime alone
One sentimental moment in your arms
Is like a shooting star right through my heart
It’s always a rainy day without you
I’m a prisoner of love inside you
I’m falling apart all around you
And all I can do is surrender

Silently (A Poem)

The BenchesA simple joke; a polite laugh
Let’s walk away from this dangerous trap
The sun is shining down on us
You better put on a hat
Fleeting glances; take no chances
Feelings once familiar
Is that all it takes?
Have I got the tricks that you’re supposed to see
Birds fly away; flowers bloom
A fool can’t help but repeat his mistakes
Feelings so familiar
A jester without his purpose
An empty court; a home distraught
Feelings too familiar

A Recipe for Finding True Love

Mathematics finally pays off

Hey, Love Bird!  You!  I’m talking to you, Love Bird!  When your lady whispers into your ear that you’re the one she’s dreaming of and that your heart fits her like a glove, she is undoubtedly confessing to you that she’s found her true love in you.  And by definition that means you two are destined to be soul mates and to live happily ever after, perfectly matched like Prince Charming and Snow White.  The two of you are so blessed that you’ve overcome the incredible odds of locating and then consummating with the one and only person in the entire Universe who’s been hand picked by Aphrodite the Goddess of Love herself to be your soul mate, your true love.  Life is good.

But of course that’s a load of crap!  You probably can’t even say with reasonable certainty that the chick you are with right now is better for you than any other women that live within a 10-block radius from your home let alone the entire Universe!  Hey, Love Bird, let’s not even discuss whether you’re the best man for her.  You know the answer to that one.  In order for you to be sure that the person you end up with is really your true love, your one and only, you would have to have had a relationship with every other person for comparison.  And that is clearly a prohibitively non-scalable problem to solve, given the finite resources a normal human being has, along with traditional societal restraints…

But fear not, Love Bird!  Armed with a basic understanding of probability theory and elementary calculus, you too can find true love.  Or should I say… you too can maximize your chances at finding your effective true love or ETL.  How?  Behold the powers of mathematics!  Who would have thought that one of the fifty challenging problems in probability can provide the recipe for finding your ETL?  Here is the problem stated in its original form.

#47. Choosing the Largest Dowry The king, to test a candidate for the position of wise man, offers him a chance to marry the young lady in the court with the largest dowry.  The amounts of the dowries are written on slips of paper and mixed.  A slip is drawn at random and the wise man must decide whether that is the largest dowry or not.  If he decides it is, he gets the lady and her dowry if he is correct; otherwise he gets nothing.  If he decides against the amount written on the first slip, he must choose or refuse the next slip, and so on until he chooses one or else the slips are exhausted.  In all, 100 attractive young ladies participate, each with a different dowry.  How should the wise man make his decision?  [**]

For those nerds who would rather attempt to solve the above problem, stop reading now and heed my spoiler alert!  Otherwise, read on!

Spoiler alert!

Obviously you can’t date everybody in the Universe and see who’s the best.  I know you would but you couldn’t.  Realistically and statistically a normal human being in the civilized world has only about 15 years of mating window to snare a life partner.  Suppose it takes you an average of 12 months to figure out whether she’s worth it or not (one-night stands and those you pay money for don’t count okay?), that yields a sampling size of 15 in your lifetime.  Fifteen serious relationships is quite a lot, my friend.  For those who’s handsome and charming and can multi-task like myself, the sampling size or mating pool size may be larger.  For those who usually wait a long time before the fish take the bait, the subset of the mating Universe is naturally smaller.  Whatever the case may be, you need to estimate your sampling size.  Once you have that number in mind, then your objective now is to find the best one among this subset of the Universe.  That person is your effective true love or ETL.  Fine, she may not be the best in the Universe.  But she’s the best in your Universe.  Tell her that.  She won’t care about the difference if she loves you.  Hence the term effective!  Of course you cannot score your entire subset and then pick out the best person and go back to her.  (Does the phrase “the one that got away” ring any bell to you losers out there?)  Once you say adiós, she’s off the radar and will no longer be available (probably because she hates you or you hate her or both).  So you have to determine whether the person you’re “sampling” (statistically speaking) at the moment is the best of the lot or not.  Once you commit, she’s either the one or she’s not.  Don’t you see?  The problem of finding your ETL is isomorphic to the problem of finding the largest dowry!

Final spoiler alert!

So you say, give me the damn recipe already!  Sure!  If you are smart like me, your intuition would tell you to never take the first woman as your ETL, because the probability that she’s the best of the lot is only 1/N, where N is your mating pool size.  We’re talking about true love here, pal!  Are you really gonna meet your true love on your first… date…  ever?  Most normal people would date a few more different people before they “settle down” and that is in fact the right strategy.  This strategy becomes optimal when you figure out when to start “settling down”.  If you are smart like me, your mathematics will tell you that for large N the optimal point to start settling down is N/e where N is the aforementioned mating pool size and e is the base of the natural logarithm (aka 2.718281828).  In fact, for large N, the probability that this “settling down” strategy will yield true love is 1/e which is like 37%.  That’s incredibly high for finding true love!  (To dim wits, as N approaches infinity, effective true love becomes true love!)

The recipe of finding your effective true love is now clear.

  1. Decide your mating pool size
  2. Date, score, and dump the first N/e girls or guys whichever the case may be (it’s important that you do this part sincerely to get accurate scores and also to avoid getting killed)
  3. Continue dating until you score a person that has higher score than anybody preceding
  4. Once you find that highest scorer, marry her and live happily ever after (oh, you probably should stop statistically sampling more girls at this point)

Of course there are always those party poopers out there who complain what if the highest scorer happened before N/e was reached?  Well, then I say to you, it’s just not meant to be, losers!  😀